Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Peace in chaos

I've been praying for peace for a long time.  This week was complete with broken rules, trouble with the law, unusual behavior, raised voices, eccentric behavior, no sleeping, little eating, walking out of the house, confusion.  With all that said, for the first time in 6 years, I have found peace between chaotic episodes.  I may not have days or weeks of peace like I want, but I have minutes even hours where I truly enjoy life and appreciate what I have.

Finding peace in the moment has been so rewarding.  I appreciate silence.  Instead of thinking-what should I do!!!  I think I will sit in quietness and appreciate this peace.  The peace has been such an unexpected pleasure.  I find myself loving every minute of "free time."

I still keep busy with the house, teaching, going to Ladies Bible Class, and Prayer Group.  These have become bricks on which I can build my stability.  I still want a non-chaotic life for my child but I accept what I have in the moment.  I will take each day as it comes.  Speak softly.  Not try to persuade to my point of view, but accept that he has a different reality.

I pray that I will learn the next steps for my son.  Right now I am exceedingly happy with the peace I have found for myself.

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