Sunday, April 25, 2010

Future not that scary

Food for thought: The reason people find it hard to be happy is they see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

Past: Sometimes I find myself thinking of when was really happy and want to go there, but it is never the same.

Present: I see the happiness of the present, but worry about things going on in the present.

Future: No grip on what it will be and worry there too.

Too much worrying going on.

The future doesn't have to be scary. I've heard people say to live in the present. Take it one day at a time. I probably do see the future less resolved than it will be and the present worse than it is. The future does not have to be scary, and worrying about it doesn't make it better.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Waiting for ...

I wonder how people wait for death and keep their sanity. I am in a position now where my dad is dying. I wait for the phone calls from siblings, and know the phone call might be saying dad has passed away.

The wait. I don't like the wait. I don't like the idea of the phone ringing. There is more negativety. So little positive to focus on. How do people do it?

Too much unrest. Too much, too much.

I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. Comfort. Comfort is what I need. Been there before. Wanting comfort.

Too hard. Too much.