Thursday, March 7, 2013

Don't worry but believe

From Facebook:  "I declare I will choose FAITH over fear!  I will meditate on what is positive and what is good about my situation.  I will use my energy not to worry but to believe.  Fear has no part in my life.  I will not dwell on negative, discouraging thoughts. My mind is set on what God says about me.  I know His plan for me is success, victory and abundance.  This is my declaration."

What a day.  I want to release the stress by talking about the mindless mutterings, anger and disruption of mental illness.  I want to state my frustration on my making a plan for the future that will not destroy us-it seems an impossible task.   I want to express my frustrations on not being able to have a conversation without disruptions, incomplete thoughts and non-understanding. 

I want things to be different.  I want to be understood.  I don't want to be yelled at.  I want love.

I still focus on the positive.  Today I thanked God for my dependable car so that I don't worry about breaking down, for being able to merge into traffic, for the house being clean, for the chance to put up laundry and keep busy, for a very good doctor's appointment where I learned I was anemic (an easy fix to the tiredness I've felt), for chocolate almonds, for good conversations, for my paycheck, for an easy tutoring session with Viviana. 

I only have one part of my life that is hard and it doesn't consume me.  I won't let it.  Nevertheless, I do have to make decisions, and have a plan of action.

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