Sourdough bread and onion soup (vegan)

8 oz. sourdough bread
3 large sweet onions
3 large garlic cloves
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1 tsp. dried thyme
1 cup soy milk
3 oz. Crisco baking stick (butter flavor)

Cube the bread and toast in Crisco. Cut onion in length pieces and add to bread. Add thyme and garlic and cook for 20 minutes. Add milk, broth, salt and pepper. Simmer soup for 10 minutes.

Time for everything

I haven't completely been able to understand how there is a time for everything. Sometimes you think, this has got to be the worst time for this. Difficulties seem to come by the bucket load lately but we persevere, and keep believing that there is a time for everything under heaven and we will (in time) learn from the difficulties we endure and be stronger.

Whoever said to not run from trouble was right. I don't believe running away is the answer. Even though you can't possibly see the reason for the troubles and what you are gaining for enduring the trouble, it is still better to not run.

When I was having difficulty in 2006 from a number of places....children, family health, and work to name a few, I quit my job. I doubted my ability to work after that. At the time it was the only thing I could run from and I did. Was it the time to run?

More recently I have become unemployed again. This time the school closed; it was not me quitting. I have had a hard, hard time not working. Yet I keep feeling that not having a full time job is the best thing for me. I have been there for my son, I have enjoyed applying (laugh) for jobs along with the interviews, I have been able to attend morning ladies class at church, I have read books, I have painted, I have sewed, I have really enjoyed much of life that I was too busy to see when I was working full time. It was the time to be unemployed. I think.

Whether I will ever completely understand that it was the right time for something to happen, I will believe that everything has a purpose. We grow. We learn. At every time we can grow and learn.

Beef Noodle Stew

1.5 pounds chuck steak cut in 1 in. cubes
flour
butter
can of diced tomato
8 oz. bow tie pasta
4 cups broth
2 bay leaves
1 tsp. thyme
1 1/2 tsp. garlic


Dredge beef in flour and brown in skillet with melted butter. Add beef, tomato, uncooked pasta, spices and broth to crock pot and cook on slow for 4 hours or on high for 2 hours.

Banana Split Cookies

1/2 c. butter 1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. sugar 2 tsp. baking powder
medium banana 2 3/4 c. flour

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cream butter and sugar with mixer. Add smashed banana, vanilla, and baking powder beating slowly until mixed. Add flour slowly-I usually end up adding more to make a stiff enough dough to cut out cookies. Roll and cut on floured board. Bake 6 minutes on top rack of the oven. Add frosting and sprinkles when cooled.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia was a big word for me growing up. I heard many stories about my grandmother who had trouble taking care of my dad because of her schizophrenia. The stories are now becoming more real as I see someone close to me exhibit psychosis.

The stories of my grandmother came from frustration over her, love toward her, and the gentle wish from family to answer my adolescent questions (that never were completely answered, but I don't think that they knew the answers).

My grandmother did not want to take her medicine. Her medicine caused a paralysis in her face, tremors, and muscle weakness. I don't know what medicine she took. Without medicine, she wasn't always aware of her surroundings. She thought people were the devil, and could have bizarre behavior.

Now someone I love very much has had many hallucinations. They are "spirits" talking, explaining the world. I've seen social isolation, tenseness, lack of emotion, anxiousness, lack of activity and problems paying attention.

The medicine can control the hallucinations but when we we're going through a psychotic episode we don't know what to expect. We keep a close watch. We keep knives away. There are extreme laughing, rocking back and forth crying, screaming, good conversation, and sleepless nights.

I don't know anyone dealing with this. Please leave a comment if you can relate. Thanks.

If Satan gets me down then God picks me up

I just read an editorial by Andrea Seu where she states, "I'm trying to figure out what I am worrying about so I can worry about it properly." This hit me so profoundly because I have been going through a Beth Moore series on Esther. In this book study, Esther goes through tremondous anxiety for her people, and I have tried to dissect why I am feeling down, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed (you can fill in the adjective) so that it can all be processed.

Today I went to the dentist with Jacob. It becomes a 2 hour visit. I finish the paperwork for my Boys and Girls club job, I read some magazines, I work on my Beth Moore workbook and I still have more time. Before I know it, I am frustrated, tired, and my mind is whirling. Why?

Beth Moore points out how the devil has us telling ourselves that if __________ever happens, then I'll just ________________. Our fears become our vulnerabilities. Once the hold is there it is hard to overcome the feeling of inevitable failure. These same difficulties can become our strengths. For example: "If money is not there (the difficulty) then God will take care of me (the strength). If I stay unemployed (the difficulty) then God has a plan (the strength). If I don't continue teaching (the difficulty) then God desires to accomplish something monumental in me (the strength). If I feel unsure (the difficulty) then God's going to demonstrate His sufficiency to me (the strength). Of course that was personal, but anyone can complete the "If ____________then ______________________" statements concerning their fears.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the hospital with Paul. He was anxious about work which gives him both asthma and high blood pressure, neither of which are good going into surgery. I had many concerns over my yougest child and the health care he needed. My brother called about his employment situation, my son from France called to check in, and my mom called to talk about Paul and my brother. By the time I got home with Paul, just in time for Jacob's tutor, my brain was a mush of anxiety. After much thought and thinking it was too overwhelming for the "If ______________ then ________________" statements. Today I realized, "If I become overwhelmed then I can still serve God." I had proof. I supported Paul, I talked kindly to everyone who called, I was there for my son's tutor, and I managed to feed, comfort, and take care of Paul after surgery. "If Satan gets me down, then God picks me up." If I am overwhelmed then I can still be a blessing. Had I seriously never realized this! I think after difficult days, I curl up and cry. I'm thinking now that this might be okay.

Normally I would grade the day "FAIL." Now I have a different opinion.

Lessons my daughter taught me

I grew up in the era of "There is no free lunch." I've actually found myself many times over the years when the discussion is started on whether to give to the homeless. The concensus has been "No." The story has been that if you hand them a hamburger they will throw it away because they want money for drugs. Others have said that they've given people (asking for money) their business card, and noone called to get employment. Occassionally over the years I have given money to people. I think it was because my children were watching, and I wanted them to help people in need.

A few years ago my daughter and I were shopping and she suggested that we buy an apple for the lady laying on the bench in front of the store. She said the lady was there most of the time and that she didn't think the lady had a home. I told her that I didn't think the apple would get the lady out of her situation. Someone overheard the conversation and said, "Young people just don't get it, do they?"

We didn't give the lady the apple, and today driving past the same grocery store it hit me hard. I'm unemployed. It is hard to find a job. So many homeless have not chosen to be homeless. There are homeless that are educated, hard workers, veterans... I know now that helping is the right thing to do. Chelsea knew it was the right thing to do. I want to go get Chelsea and a bag of apples and feed some people.

Every city needs people to go to the homeless-give them food. Give them hope.