We ended up putting my son in the mental hospital. So far it is going well. They couldn't believe we had dealt with him at home in the state he was in. They have him on unit restriction because they don't feel in his current state that he can go to a public place. It's funny because in his current state we've taken him to the store and many other places. We just tolerate the talking to himself and funny gestures.
We try to be as normal as possible. We take him out to eat, go to the store, go places. Since I started this post, he's been discharged from this hospital, put in jail, entered another mental hospital and is now in a partial hospitalization program.
We are thankful that he not currently hearing voices or angry.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Schizoaffective Disorder
I've been on a Facebook group page the last several months for schizoaffective disorder. I've also talked recently with someone who also has a son with schizoaffective disorder. I'm seeing the trends in behavior.
My son cuts himself, talks about his delusions and voices, and has trouble with hygiene. I've found these things are common with schizoaffective disorder. We've gone through some major trauma with our son.
It all started 3 months ago. The Latuda was not controlling the voices and the depakote was not controlling the anger issues. He was hitting holes in the walls, breaking dishes, and yelling through-out the night. He would say the house was covered with penguins or that the demons were raping him. He'd go on social media talking about the rape. It was all real to him.
We finally got the medicine changed from Latuda to Invega. It was just a small dose of Invega as he was transferring to a new medicine. The day was normal. He was staying in his room most of the time. His conversation was erratic. He didn't make a whole lot of sense, but this was normal for the last 8 weeks or so. I told him not to post online that he wanted to kill people. He yelled at me that it was just social media and he could post whatever he wanted. Then I told him we needed to clean his bathroom. The voices in his head made him think his sister said something rude to him and he poured coffee on her, what she was working on and the pictures I had out. I got angry that he would abuse his sister that way and told him to clean it up. He told me to leave his room or he'd kill me. I didn't leave his room and he held a knife to my neck. I grabbed his arm and the knife cut my arm. All this time my daughter was on the phone with the police. The police were there in minutes and arrested him for domestic abuse. He now is charged with a 2nd degree felony.
I tell you all this because it can go bad so quickly. You have to watch the signs. As soon as they are a danger to themselves or others they need to go to the hospital. He was saying he wanted to kill people. If I would have reacted then we wouldn't have had the whole knife incident.
My son cuts himself, talks about his delusions and voices, and has trouble with hygiene. I've found these things are common with schizoaffective disorder. We've gone through some major trauma with our son.
It all started 3 months ago. The Latuda was not controlling the voices and the depakote was not controlling the anger issues. He was hitting holes in the walls, breaking dishes, and yelling through-out the night. He would say the house was covered with penguins or that the demons were raping him. He'd go on social media talking about the rape. It was all real to him.
We finally got the medicine changed from Latuda to Invega. It was just a small dose of Invega as he was transferring to a new medicine. The day was normal. He was staying in his room most of the time. His conversation was erratic. He didn't make a whole lot of sense, but this was normal for the last 8 weeks or so. I told him not to post online that he wanted to kill people. He yelled at me that it was just social media and he could post whatever he wanted. Then I told him we needed to clean his bathroom. The voices in his head made him think his sister said something rude to him and he poured coffee on her, what she was working on and the pictures I had out. I got angry that he would abuse his sister that way and told him to clean it up. He told me to leave his room or he'd kill me. I didn't leave his room and he held a knife to my neck. I grabbed his arm and the knife cut my arm. All this time my daughter was on the phone with the police. The police were there in minutes and arrested him for domestic abuse. He now is charged with a 2nd degree felony.
I tell you all this because it can go bad so quickly. You have to watch the signs. As soon as they are a danger to themselves or others they need to go to the hospital. He was saying he wanted to kill people. If I would have reacted then we wouldn't have had the whole knife incident.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Psychotic
My son with schizophrenia got a jury notice. He is so psychotic now. He's laughing, crying, talking and laughing hysterically. I didn't see any way he could do the jury duty so I took him to the bank to get a notary to sign the affidavit to get out of the jury duty.
He was so psychotic I wondered if he would be able to go to the bank to do the notary. It ended up being comical. I actually found myself laughing. When we got to the bank we sat down on the couches to wait our turn with the banker. Jacob was picking his feet up real high and taking big steps. One of the employees of the bank was watching him. His movements were all large and he didn't appear the least bit normal. He got down on the floor to color a picture with the crayons and paper the bank provided then with elaborate movements he folded it up and put it in his back pocket. He walked over to the coffee and made lots of hand gestures and looked closely at the coffee pot. I told him he could get some coffee and he did. It was at this time I noticed the bank employee still looking at us. I was afraid that they might call the police. It's not unusual that people are scared by the strange behavior.
No one called the police. We got the affidavit notarized and were on our way. On the way home his behavior changed from laughing and smiling to being upset. He started talking about his dad thinking he was on drugs and many other similar things that made him upset with his dad.
This psychosis has lasted 5 days now. It has lasted up to 3 weeks before. I hope it doesn't last much longer.
He was so psychotic I wondered if he would be able to go to the bank to do the notary. It ended up being comical. I actually found myself laughing. When we got to the bank we sat down on the couches to wait our turn with the banker. Jacob was picking his feet up real high and taking big steps. One of the employees of the bank was watching him. His movements were all large and he didn't appear the least bit normal. He got down on the floor to color a picture with the crayons and paper the bank provided then with elaborate movements he folded it up and put it in his back pocket. He walked over to the coffee and made lots of hand gestures and looked closely at the coffee pot. I told him he could get some coffee and he did. It was at this time I noticed the bank employee still looking at us. I was afraid that they might call the police. It's not unusual that people are scared by the strange behavior.
No one called the police. We got the affidavit notarized and were on our way. On the way home his behavior changed from laughing and smiling to being upset. He started talking about his dad thinking he was on drugs and many other similar things that made him upset with his dad.
This psychosis has lasted 5 days now. It has lasted up to 3 weeks before. I hope it doesn't last much longer.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
New Day
I started working at a new school. I am a teacher and the depression has really taken a toll on me on how I conduct my class. I just don't have the excitement that I use to. This past week has been in service. We get students on Monday. I am really looking forward to getting started. I am working at a small school for children with autism. It will be something new and I am ready to take on the challenge. I've noticed that I still get anxiety (rapid heart beat, difficulty in breathing) so I take the anxiety medicine about twice a day.
I think I am spending too much time on things that make me sad. I started posting on a mental illness discussion board, and joined a schizo affective website. This may be too much for me to handle. Right now my son is not hearing voices, and he is not acting out violently. We are doing well this week. I think the discussion board and website may just be reminders that I don't want.
I think the main things I need to focus on are things that make me happy-watching T.V. with my daughter, morning coffee with my husband, taking my son to Sprouts to shop, and lesson planning. I still try to do my hobbies-crafts, scrap booking, reading, but they haven't been bringing me joy. I try to keep doing the hobbies in hopes the joy returns.
I recently got involved in jury duty. The best part was talking to the other jurors. I met some really nice people. I tend to be shy and the whole situation of us sitting and waiting for the judge to call us in for interviews made it more conducive to "talk." I didn't get picked as a juror but the experience was really good.
I have hope for the future. I wish I could stop worrying so much about my son.
I think I am spending too much time on things that make me sad. I started posting on a mental illness discussion board, and joined a schizo affective website. This may be too much for me to handle. Right now my son is not hearing voices, and he is not acting out violently. We are doing well this week. I think the discussion board and website may just be reminders that I don't want.
I think the main things I need to focus on are things that make me happy-watching T.V. with my daughter, morning coffee with my husband, taking my son to Sprouts to shop, and lesson planning. I still try to do my hobbies-crafts, scrap booking, reading, but they haven't been bringing me joy. I try to keep doing the hobbies in hopes the joy returns.
I recently got involved in jury duty. The best part was talking to the other jurors. I met some really nice people. I tend to be shy and the whole situation of us sitting and waiting for the judge to call us in for interviews made it more conducive to "talk." I didn't get picked as a juror but the experience was really good.
I have hope for the future. I wish I could stop worrying so much about my son.
Friday, August 14, 2015
Anxiety
I keep counting my blessings to somehow get me in a good mood. It's not that I'm in a bad mood, I just don't feel joy anymore. I go out to eat with friends, hug Paul, make my family dinner, go to church, go shopping, read books, scrapbook,and I will start work soon. I wish I had the feelings...happy feelings that should go along with these things.
I don't know how to pull myself from this depression. There's a lot of anxiety involved. There's such uncertainty about my son. He's having a horrible time with voices and delusions. The fairies and spirits talk to him. He laughs a lot. The voices talk to him and he responds by laughing. A lot of times he talks to the voices or delusions. It's very hard to watch. The conversations with him are out of this realm. I keep trying to focus on the fact that he's happy. He was having daily anger outbursts until we got him on 1000 mg of depakote. Now he is happy but does not seem sane.
The counselors and psychiatrists aren't helping. It seems we've been to appointments regularly all summer long and no one helps him. I have my own counselor who listens but doesn't seem to give me anything to do to bring me out of the depression. She says to keep doing things and the feelings will come back. So far they haven't.
I would like to enjoy my family instead of just go through the motions. I can't seem to sit still. The family likes to sit out in the backyard and grill. I can't sit there without having my laptop, phone or something to distract me all the time. I wish I could just sit and talk to people but I get anxious.
I don't know how to pull myself from this depression. There's a lot of anxiety involved. There's such uncertainty about my son. He's having a horrible time with voices and delusions. The fairies and spirits talk to him. He laughs a lot. The voices talk to him and he responds by laughing. A lot of times he talks to the voices or delusions. It's very hard to watch. The conversations with him are out of this realm. I keep trying to focus on the fact that he's happy. He was having daily anger outbursts until we got him on 1000 mg of depakote. Now he is happy but does not seem sane.
The counselors and psychiatrists aren't helping. It seems we've been to appointments regularly all summer long and no one helps him. I have my own counselor who listens but doesn't seem to give me anything to do to bring me out of the depression. She says to keep doing things and the feelings will come back. So far they haven't.
I would like to enjoy my family instead of just go through the motions. I can't seem to sit still. The family likes to sit out in the backyard and grill. I can't sit there without having my laptop, phone or something to distract me all the time. I wish I could just sit and talk to people but I get anxious.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Hallucinations
The vacation was good. He talked to voices most of the time. Twice he left the house and couldn't find his way back. Once we found him and the other time the police brought him back. He had several minor anger outbursts. All were short lived and non-violent.
Last night he was yelling, "Stop it, No, Don't!" and crying. The next day I said something about him needing to get regulated on the medicine so he will be stable. When I mentioned this incident, he said that aliens were telling him that he was a rapist. He said, "Wouldn't you be upset if aliens were telling you that you were a rapist?" To him it is completely real.
Today everything has been fine. There haven't been any anger outbursts, voices, delusions or hallucinations. I need more time like this. I need peace. It's hard for me to care for him and not be anxious.
Last night he was yelling, "Stop it, No, Don't!" and crying. The next day I said something about him needing to get regulated on the medicine so he will be stable. When I mentioned this incident, he said that aliens were telling him that he was a rapist. He said, "Wouldn't you be upset if aliens were telling you that you were a rapist?" To him it is completely real.
Today everything has been fine. There haven't been any anger outbursts, voices, delusions or hallucinations. I need more time like this. I need peace. It's hard for me to care for him and not be anxious.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Raging adults
He continues with daily anger outbursts. You can say the wrong thing and he can get upset or he can think of a time in his past where he was treated badly and it can turn into a rage. Yesterday he threw a cup of coffee. It's horrible to live in a situation so volatile. I hate it. I wonder how we will be able to take care of him long term if this is how it's going to be.
The psychiatrist recommended depakote to help with the mood swings. We tried 500 mg for a month and it didn't work. She increased it to 1000 mg and he has refused the pill. We have capsules that I can open up and put in his food but don't have enough to last a month because he was expected to take the pill.
We go on vacation tomorrow and my husband and I are both afraid of his anger outbursts. We can't have a good vacation if he's going to be raging.
Is there anyone out there dealing with a raging adult? How do you deal with it? If this was my husband I would know to leave the relationship but since this is my son with a mental disorder I can't walk away. The police told me on Thursday that we're going to continue having problems as long as he's in the house. I know he won't get his medicine for schizophrenia without me giving it to him everyday. He's also not responsible for his financial well being.
I can't picture him living a successful life on his own but we can't live with him and not be afraid. He will threaten to kill himself or my husband. I don't think he's capable of either but it's scary.
Usually what happens is he'll get angry about something, completely upset us and turn our day from good to bad. He'll get over it in 15 minutes and we're left with the pieces to pick up. Whether it's our feelings that are frayed or broken glass, or something he's spilled-there's always something to clean up.
The psychiatrist recommended depakote to help with the mood swings. We tried 500 mg for a month and it didn't work. She increased it to 1000 mg and he has refused the pill. We have capsules that I can open up and put in his food but don't have enough to last a month because he was expected to take the pill.
We go on vacation tomorrow and my husband and I are both afraid of his anger outbursts. We can't have a good vacation if he's going to be raging.
Is there anyone out there dealing with a raging adult? How do you deal with it? If this was my husband I would know to leave the relationship but since this is my son with a mental disorder I can't walk away. The police told me on Thursday that we're going to continue having problems as long as he's in the house. I know he won't get his medicine for schizophrenia without me giving it to him everyday. He's also not responsible for his financial well being.
I can't picture him living a successful life on his own but we can't live with him and not be afraid. He will threaten to kill himself or my husband. I don't think he's capable of either but it's scary.
Usually what happens is he'll get angry about something, completely upset us and turn our day from good to bad. He'll get over it in 15 minutes and we're left with the pieces to pick up. Whether it's our feelings that are frayed or broken glass, or something he's spilled-there's always something to clean up.
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