We started a new medication, Symbax, in May. After a few days we started to have some good days with no agression, throwing things, disorganized speech, voices or delusions. He had a few set backs where he didn't take his medication. After 4 weeks on Symbax I decided to take him off the zyprexa because the Symbax already had some zyprexa in it. He did the best ever for 3 weeks!!!! Today he's back to disorganized speech and rages. I'm so disappointed.
I want to stay positive and remind myself that this is just an expected setback but it's hard. Only the days ahead will tell us if I need to add back that extra zyprexa.
We've had a good long run where we've been able to take him to church, to the mall, to Grandma's house, on walks, to restaurants.... I love not being afraid of him. I love being able to talk to him. I love when he's not in a psychotic episode. He can be the most easy going, lovable person you could ever meet. He is always willing to help. He wants to do good and then the mental illness takes over and takes him away from me.
I need hope for the future. I need someone to talk to that will help me see the positive.
Life has its' challenges but sometimes I think it's too hard. My heart hurts when we go through tough times. I try to stay strong. Tomorrow is another day.
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