Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Keeping thoughts positive

I heard at a NAMI meeting that you don't wonder if they'll be another crisis, you just wonder when it will be.  We've been in crisis the last 5 days.  It began with anger and rages and now it is disorganized speech, crying, and voices.

I wonder as I go through this how I am suppose to help.  I clearly benefit him when the crying starts and I am able to reinforce that the voices are lying to him, that what they are saying is not true, and that he is not dying.  Death and spirituality seem to be common themes.  I feel it's important for me to be here for him.

I am beginning to see my role in a new light.  I feel very uneasy when I don't get much accomplished in a day but the days I am available to be there for my son are priceless.  I am trying to focus on the good I do for my family and not worry that I don't volunteer as much, and don't work full time.  I am still a help meet for my husband, a mother to my children, and keep the house in order.

I am thankful for playing games with my children, cooking dinner for the family, getting paperwork done for the doctor, peaceful moments, money for food and home, and so very much more.

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