Instead of getting the grant written up for my graduate class, or doing laundry, or washing dishes, or planning for VBS next week, I thought I would purge myself of the thoughts creating this headache that is keeping me from being productive.
I am at a good place right now. I love my husband and children more than life itself and they know that. I also have a career that I love.
The problem is not letting all the stresses keep me from appreciating what I have. Yes, I feel I need to look for a more stable job. Yes, I wish Chelsea was more stable. Jacob is going to highschool. Justin is going to study in France. Both are scary for me. I don't think my children are worried. I hope not. I pray they are able to function without the anxiety that I seem to create for myself.
I have decided to put myself in the mode of looking toward the year 2020. I find tomorrow unpredictable, next year unpredictable, but somehow 2020 looks very good. I see myself teaching and should have found my stable job by then, the kids will have all moved out and found their paths by then and it will be me and Paul enjoying life.
Yes, life is good in 2020.
Oh Angie, I love you insight. Right now in my life I am taking it just one day at a time. My kids are growing up so fast. Olivia will be going to Shining Stars in the Fall(the old Stapelton). I don't want to think about 10 years from now. Love you!
ReplyDelete