Life is good

I think we've got a medication regime now where we can finally get some relief from crisis.  I cannot believe that we have had 3 days with normal conversation, good daily living habits, and peace.  I am not sure that I should have the confidence that he can be left during the day for me to take on a full time job, yet that is what I want to do.  It is very hard to know the right thing to do.

We have many decisions to make because of the mental illness and him turning 18.  Do we let him get his driver's license, do we gain full guardianship, how much can he handle?  Right now he seems to be so much better.  Right now he can drive safely....but what about tomorrow?

Taking things one day at a time is our only option.

Satan behind me

What a horrible Wednesday!  I can't express what it feels like to go a series of days with things going smoothly then have your son brought to you by the police.  I wish we could live out on a farm where we had more freedom and not be surrounded by the police, watchful neighbors, etc...  I don't like the "system" being involved in our lives.

I could say so much more about specific frustrations but suffice it to say-that was yesterday.  Today is today.  I have to let go of my 17 year old and watch him make mistakes and take the consequences.  It is very hard.

I've found ways through this journey to bring my spirits up and thought I'd share:

1. Listen to music.
2. Take a walk.
3. Appreciate the little things.
4. Be kind to others.
5. Talk to a 6 year old.
6. Talk to an 80 year old.
7. Eat a 1/2 pint of blueberries.
8. Write.
9. Create something with your hands.
10. Clean the house.
11. Write a letter or send a card.
12. Dance.
13. Hug someone.

Lessons my daughter taught me

I grew up in the era of "There is no free lunch." I've actually found myself many times over the years when the discussion is started on whether to give to the homeless. The concensus has been "No." The story has been that if you hand them a hamburger they will throw it away because they want money for drugs. Others have said that they've given people (asking for money) their business card, and noone called to get employment. Occassionally over the years I have given money to people. I think it was because my children were watching, and I wanted them to help people in need.

A few years ago my daughter and I were shopping and she suggested that we buy an apple for the lady laying on the bench in front of the store. She said the lady was there most of the time and that she didn't think the lady had a home. I told her that I didn't think the apple would get the lady out of her situation. Someone overheard the conversation and said, "Young people just don't get it, do they?"

We didn't give the lady the apple, and today driving past the same grocery store it hit me hard. I'm unemployed. It is hard to find a job. So many homeless have not chosen to be homeless. There are homeless that are educated, hard workers, veterans... I know now that helping is the right thing to do. Chelsea knew it was the right thing to do. I want to go get Chelsea and a bag of apples and feed some people.

Every city needs people to go to the homeless-give them food. Give them hope.